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the elephant's Den


BREAKING: TVA CEO Jeff Lyash Retires to Private Island After DOGE Sniffs Out Another Scam!
The Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) found TVA was basically an executive salary laundering scheme disguised as a utility. Just...
The Elephant
Feb 23 min read
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The Confirmation Hearings: Exposing the Corrupt Swamp That Fears a Trump Mandate
If the establishment hates you, it means you’re probably doing something right. The confirmation hearings have revealed more than just...
The Elephant
Jan 314 min read
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Senate Floor – Closing Argument for the Confirmation of Robert F. Kennedy Jr. as Secretary of Health and Human Services
America needs a Health Secretary who fights for the people, not the profits. Mr. President, colleagues, and to the American people —...
The Elephant
Jan 305 min read
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"Deporter-in-Chief" Redux: How Barack Obama Quietly Out-Trumped Trump
Liberals on immigration: 'We’re for it, unless it’s politically inconvenient. Then, we’ve always been against it NOTE: A longer read...

The Elephant
Jan 286 min read
55
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AOC’s Coffee Catastrophe: Saving Your Starbucks Latte, One Criminal at a Time
AOC’s economic policy: no criminal left behind, no latte left un-foamed. Colombian President Petro Declares Starbucks a Protected...
The Elephant
Jan 283 min read
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The Elephant
Jan 270 min read
4
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Ben & Jerry’s Unveils New WOKE-TASTIC Flavors That Are Melting Minds
Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream: For people who want their ice cream to taste like guilt and moral superiority Ben & Jerry's - They're More Than...
The Elephant
Jan 263 min read
6
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When Virtue-Signaling Becomes a Disservice: Bishop Marian Budde’s Missed Opportunity to Lead with Truth
Bishop Budde didn’t miss the mark; she rewrote the mark and handed herself a trophy for hitting it. Budde turned the pulpit into a...
The Elephant
Jan 255 min read
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Breaking News. General Milley's Missing Portrait Found
Milley’s leadership is so inspiring, even his shadow refuses to follow him. If incompetence were a medal, Milley would be the most...
The Elephant
Jan 253 min read
3
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Trump Renames Gulf of Mexico to "Gulf of America"; UK Throws Tea in the Ocean in Protest
The British don’t like the name "Gulf of America" because it reminds them of two things they’ve been avoiding for centuries: America and...
The Elephant
Jan 234 min read
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Media Manipulation Unveiled: The Truth Behind Trump's Reversal of Biden's Drug Cost Executive Order
Trump’s executive order rejects quick fixes for sustainable solutions. I t hasn’t even been a week since President Donald J. Trump...
The Elephant
Jan 233 min read
10
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Future-Proofing Corruption: Biden Signs Executive Order Pardoning All Democrats Until 2045 for Past, Present, and Even Future Crimes
Biden’s new justice system motto: ‘If you can’t beat the charges, just pardon them! In an unprecedented move that could only be described...

The Elephant
Jan 217 min read
13
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Greenland Tourism Boom: Florida Retirees Trade the Beaches for Icebergs
Margaritaville Greenland: Swapping flip-flops for snowshoes, but the blender's still running...Searching for my lost shaker of salt… or...
The Elephant
Jan 193 min read
9
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The Hypocrisy: Senate Confirmation Hearings Take the Gold
Let he who is without sin cast the first . . . Oh wait, never mind! In a plot twist that could rival any daytime soap opera, the Senate...

The Elephant
Jan 184 min read
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Move Over SEC, Here Comes the Frozen Tundra Conference: Why Greenland Will Dominate College Football, Hockey, and Curling
Greenland’s secret weapon isn’t strategy—it’s hypothermia. As talks of the United States purchasing Greenland continue to melt and...
The Elephant
Jan 183 min read
10
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Georgia: Where Voting Your Conscience is a Contact Sport
Oh, Georgia. The land of sweet tea, peaches, and—apparently—political smackdowns that would make a pro wrestling referee wince. In the...
The Elephant
Jan 174 min read
17
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ESPN Rebrand: Finally Admitting What We Already Knew
A Farewell to ESPN - From Faithful Follower To Lost Fan Before diving into ESPN’s new acronym and satirical segment lineup, it’s worth...

The Elephant
Jan 155 min read
20
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Mark Hamill Boycotts Trump’s Inauguration, Cementing his Legacy as one of America's Bravest Hero's
If avoiding a TV makes you a hero, then the bar for bravery just hit rock bottom A Hero’s Journey: From Lightsabers to TV Remotes In a...
The Elephant
Jan 144 min read
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The Turning Point: America’s Battle Against Wokeism and the Road to Unity
The death of Wokeism isn’t about politics—it’s about reviving the American spirit. On November 5, the American electorate made a...

The Elephant
Jan 143 min read
10
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Charity Begins Abroad: How the Biden-Harris Administration's Misplaced Priorities Leave Americans Out in the Cold
A government that prioritizes foreign interests over its own people will ultimately lose both. - Theodore Roosevelt When Warm Words...
The Elephant
Jan 134 min read
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