The Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) found TVA was basically an executive salary laundering scheme disguised as a utility.

Just 11 days after Donald Trump reclaimed his rightful seat in the White House, Tennessee Valley Authority (TVA) CEO Jeff Lyash has called it quits—presumably to retire in luxury, possibly on a gold-plated yacht.
For those unfamiliar with Lyash, let’s put it this way: If government waste had a poster child, it would be him—standing next to a giant pile of cash, throwing hundred-dollar bills in the air like confetti at a bureaucratic New Year’s Eve party.
"The Greatest Job in the History of Government"
During his first term, Trump blasted Lyash’s "ridiculous" salary, vowing to fire him outright. And why wouldn’t he? Lyash was pulling in $10.5 million a year—that’s 26 times more than the President of the United States and, quite frankly, more than most Americans make in a lifetime of honest work.
Think about it: Lyash was a federal employee. This wasn’t some hedge fund CEO making high-risk trades. No, this guy was running a government utility company—essentially, a glorified power company with the efficiency of a DMV and the transparency of the Federal Reserve.
DOGE Unleashes a Federal Salary Reckoning
Now, thanks to Elon Musk and the Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) initiative, there’s an entire brigade of budgetary bloodhounds sniffing out federal waste like TSA agents looking for loose change. And surprise, surprise—TVA has been hemorrhaging money like a Vegas slot machine on max bet.
TVA executives were raking in millions while Americans were forking over their paychecks just to keep the lights on. Some were pulling in seven-figure salaries just to manage hydroelectric dams—which, let’s be honest, have been running themselves since the 1930s.
One TVA insider admitted under anonymity that executives often held meetings on "streamlining costs"—in exclusive resorts funded by, you guessed it, taxpayers.
And now, as DOGE turns up the heat, Lyash decides—coincidentally—that it’s time to retire. Nothing to see here, folks! Just another Washington fat cat cashing out before the reform hounds get too close.
How Many More Are Cashing In?
Of course, Lyash isn’t the only one who made out like a bandit. TVA has at least four other executives pulling in millions—one of whom reportedly had a job description that included “occasionally nodding at board meetings” and “signing off on reports written by interns.”
Other TVA salary highlights include:
The Assistant to the Deputy of the Undersecretary for Renewable Paperwork -
$1.2 million per year to oversee compliance reports that no one reads.
The Senior Vice President of Turning Off Lights in Empty Meeting Rooms - $900,000 annually, with performance bonuses if the office thermostat is adjusted under budget.
The Junior Associate Coordinator of Theoretical Innovation - $750,000 per year to brainstorm ideas TVA will never implement.
Trump and Musk: The Dynamic Duo of Draining the Swamp (Again)
When asked about Lyash’s departure, Trump didn’t mince words:
“This guy had the best job in government—millions of dollars to do nothing! He was making more money than me, and I was running the entire country. I said we’d fire him, and boom—eleven days in, he’s GONE. That’s what winning looks like.”
Musk, overseeing DOGE, responded with a simple tweet:
“Ruff ruff. Fetching more fraud.”
Where’s the Outrage?
For years, Americans have been told we need to “tighten our belts” while bureaucrats like Lyash were living like Saudi oil princes off the federal dime. Meanwhile, regular folks had to take out home equity loans just to afford a gallon of gas.
But with Trump back in office and Musk’s watchdogs on the case, the TVA gravy train might finally be derailed.
The question now is: How many more federal execs are secretly sitting on golden parachutes?
Or better yet: Why wasn’t Lyash forced to pay us back before running off into retirement?
One thing is certain—DOGE isn’t done yet. The swamp is big, the pockets are deep, and the snouts are sniffing.
DISCLAIMER: THIS IS A PARODY. BUT THE WASTE IS REAL.
This article is a work of satire designed to expose the absolute lunacy of waste and corruption in a way that’s both hilarious and painfully true. While we may exaggerate for comedic effect, the insanity of government waste requires little embellishment.
Any resemblance to real people, events, or corrupt bureaucrats living off your hard-earned money is completely intentional.
We can confirm that Jeff Lyash was not physically rolling around in a pile of cash like Scrooge McDuck—but let’s be honest, at $10.5 million a year, he definitely could have.
Final Note: No TVA executives were harmed in the making of this satire… but their golden
parachutes may need some trimming.
Reported salaries:
CEO - Jeff Lyash $10.5 Million/yr last 6 yrs,
CFO - John Thomas $6.3 million,
COO - Don Moul $5 million
General Counsel - David Fountain $3.3 million
Chief Nuclear Officer - Tim Rausch taking home $3.3 million
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