Protecting my right to choose...by eliminating my choices...
In an astonishing act of defiance against a man who probably doesn't know they exist, a growing number of women are reportedly sterilizing themselves to protest policies they fear might arise during Donald Trump’s second presidency. Never mind that Trump hasn’t actually proposed these policies—they’re certain his aura alone is enough to vaporize their reproductive rights.
One OnlyFans model lamented, “I felt forced into this surgery. The election tied my hands.” Yes, dear reader, you heard that correctly: this woman, feeling metaphorically shackled, decided the best way to escape was to toss the key into the biological abyss. It's a bold strategy—nothing screams 'empowerment' like doing something irreversible and blaming someone else for it.
Sterilization of Stupidity? A National IQ Booster?
Critics have joked that if these women are willing to sterilize themselves because of their dislike for Trump, they may be doing America a favor. “Sterilization of stupid is a wonderful thing,” quipped one commentator. “This is the kind of gene pool cleansing that could raise the national IQ.” Sure, it’s harsh, but consider the logic: if you sterilize yourself, do you really need ‘reproductive rights’? It’s like cutting off your own hand to protest a hypothetical ban on gloves.
Another woman, aged 28, proclaimed, “If I’m to be denied any rights, I will not give them up without a fight!” And fight she did—against her own uterus. Not since the invention of diet soda has anyone fought so hard against themselves.
But the real issue isn’t biological; it’s mental. These women aren’t protesting reality—they’re protesting a dystopian fan-fiction of their own making.
The 4B Club: When Feminism Meets Self-Parody
Enter the 4B movement: “No sex, no birth, no dating, no marriage with men.” It’s feminism meets a dystopian book club where Margaret Atwood’s The Handmaid’s Tale is the Bible and common sense is the sacrificial lamb. If reproductive rights are a metaphorical cake, these women are eating it before anyone else can. “You’ll never make me have kids, because I already stopped myself!” It’s like protesting high gas prices by slashing your own tires—sure, the gas pump doesn’t win, but neither do you.
Side Effects Include: Fewer Abortions, More Conservative Babies
Unintentional benefits of this movement are already apparent. “This trend could eliminate thousands of abortions,” one commentator noted. “Because let’s face it, these are exactly the kind of people who treat abortion like a frequent flyer program.” Meanwhile, conservative parents are quietly rejoicing. “Imagine the future,” one dad beamed. “A world where the gene pool shifts toward rationality. The irony is delicious.”
When 'Empowerment' Meets Mental Gymnastics
The hysteria here is nothing short of Olympic. “I am keenly aware of the people Trump keeps in his ear,” one woman said, implying his advisors view women as “incubators.” Never mind that Trump doesn’t even seem to listen to his own aides. These women are projecting fears as if Netflix commissioned them to star in a live-action adaptation of their inner monologues.
The truth? Trump’s actual position leaves abortion laws to the states. That’s it. No forced sterilizations, no dystopian labor camps, just boring old federalism. Yet these women chose irreversible surgeries over facing the terrifying reality that… they might have to move to a different state. Horror!
The Media: Fueling Hysteria One Click at a Time
Let’s not ignore the real MVP of this movement: the mass media. With headlines about impending doom and political apocalypse, the media has fueled this hysteria faster than a Starbucks drive-thru. Every baseless fear becomes a clickbait-worthy rallying cry. One can’t help but wonder if these women would have better mental health if they spent less time scrolling and more time, you know, living.
Evolution in Real Time?
Some commentators have seen the humor in this self-imposed gene pool cleansing. “Reopen the asylums!” one quipped. Another added, “This is evolution in real time—people removing themselves from the equation. It’s sad but oddly poetic.”
Closing Thoughts: Don’t Reproduce, But Don’t Blame Trump Either
At the end of the day, one thing is clear: no one forced these women to make their choices. Sterilizing yourself in response to a hypothetical policy is like burning your house down because you think a storm might come. While these women sterilize themselves in the name of hypothetical oppression, the rest of us are left wondering: if self-sabotage is empowerment, what does sanity look like?
Disclaimer
This article is not intended to make light of the genuine concerns these women may have about reproductive rights. Everyone has the right to voice their fears and opinions, even if those fears seem exaggerated or misplaced to others. However, at the end of the day, when actions veer into the absurd—like choosing sterilization as a form of protest against a policy that doesn’t exist—it’s hard not to highlight the irony with a touch of humor. After all, sometimes the best way to unpack the lunacy is with a little satire
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