In an unprecedented move that's set to revolutionize the fast-food industry, McDonald's CEO Chris Kempczinskio announced a daring plan to transition all 40,275 McDonald's restaurants worldwide into fully AI-operated establishments.
The decision comes as a strategic response to the soaring minimum wage, which, according to Kempczinskio, is set to reach an astronomical $100 per hour by 2040. "At that rate, we'd have to sell our Big Macs as luxury items," Kempczinskio quipped, highlighting the urgency of the automation transition.
The transition won't come cheap, with a staggering $2 million per restaurant needed to install the AI equipment necessary to run the operations. However, Kempczinskio remains undeterred, claiming that this short-term financial hurdle is a small price to pay for a future where robots flawlessly assemble your McFlurry. "Imagine a world where your Quarter Pounder is cooked with the precision of a Swiss watch. That's the dream we're working towards," Kempczinskio enthused.
Yet, the move to automation comes with its own set of economic implications. For starters, menu prices are expected to skyrocket during the transition period, with a Big Mac forecasted to cost $18, and a combo meal ballooning to $27.50. "We believe our customers understand the value of being served by a McRobot that never gets your order wrong," said Kempczinskio, trying to put a positive spin on the price hike.
But fear not, for human touch won't be entirely absent from the McDonald's of the future. Each location will be manned by a highly specialized Mc-AI Engineer, drawing a modest salary of $750,000 per year to oversee the smooth operations of the AI staff. "These engineers are the cream of the crop, the guardians of the McFries, if you will," Kempczinskio explained, "Their expertise ensures that your experience is nothing short of McMagical."
In a twist that sounds straight out of a sci-fi diner, Kempczinskio also revealed plans for the Mc-AI Engineers' student loans to be forgiven, courtesy of a fund sourced from tax revenue and contributions from former McDonald's employees. "It's our way of giving back," Kempczinskio stated, with a straight face, "ensuring that our McFuture is in the best possible hands."
Adding to the operational efficiency of this futuristic venture, Kempczinskio highlighted the benefits of an AI workforce, explaining, "McDonald's will not have to worry about HR issues, such as harassment, 'my son is sick and I can't find a babysitter,' scheduling time off, and a host of other issues when it comes to managing humans. Robots don't get sick, and can work all day, no breaks. Just think, our restaurants can be open 24/7, allowing our loyal customers to get a Big Mac at 3:30 in the morning. How awesome will that be?"
As McDonald's prepares to embark on this bold journey into automation, one thing is clear: the fast-food experience is about to get a high-tech makeover. Whether this will be a McSuccess or a McFlop remains to be seen, but one thing is for certain – the future of fast food is here, and it's automated. So, the next time you find yourself craving a Big Mac, remember: it's not just a burger; it's a glimpse into the future, courtesy of McDonald's AI revolution.
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