You thought the presidential debate was about policies, vision for America, or even some good old-fashioned mudslinging? Think again! Welcome to the wild world of sorority politics, where every debate is a reunion, and every rebuttal comes with a secret handshake. MAGA supporters have uncovered what might be just another political scandal of our time: Kamala Harris and ABC News moderator Linsey Davis are—brace yourself—sorority sisters! Yes, folks, forget about debating; this was Rush Week at the White House.
Apparently, during what Trump himself called a "three-on-one" debate, Linsey Davis, with her poised moderation and polished TV presence, wasn’t just there to ask questions. No, she was there to make sure her sister Kamala had a clear runway to giggle, word salad, and eye-roll her way through. Talk about sisterhood goals! Forget policies; the real bond on that stage was forged over matching Greek letters and college parties.
Trump, naturally, wasn’t having it. "It was a rigged deal!" he exclaimed, likely imagining Linsey and Kamala practicing their sorority chants backstage while the rest of the world was naively expecting a fair fight. The moderators weren't just being soft on Kamala—they were practically singing "Kumbaya" and passing around a friendship bracelet. Every time Trump tried to make a point, it seemed Linsey would swoop in to "correct" him, or as some might say, protect her sister-in-sisterhood from any difficult questions, because let’s face it—there’s no way Kamala could handle a tough question without throwing in a laugh break or a calendar reference.
But wait, there’s more! One particularly eagle-eyed MAGA supporter (who, of course, has access to every video from the dawn of time) dug up an old clip of Linsey casually mentioning her sorority connection with Kamala. This, naturally, proves that the debate was nothing more than a "Sisterhood of the Traveling Liars." It’s not a debate—it’s a reunion special! And where there’s one sorority sister, you know there’s bound to be more in Kamala's closet.
So what else might we be missing in Kamala’s web of cronies? Let’s take a guess for parody purposes:
1. Kamala’s Stylist? A fellow sorority sister. Because you don’t just pick out pantsuits that scream “I’m relatable!” without a little sisterly guidance.
2. Her speechwriter? Another sorority sister who majored in both “Talking in Circles” and “Advanced Cackling" and "Venn Diagrams."
And don’t even get started on the debate moderators. If Linsey Davis is Kamala’s sorority sister, who’s to say David Muir wasn’t a brother from the fraternity across the street? Maybe he was the one bringing the popcorn to the sorority house movie nights. The connections run deep, people! It's all a sham!
It makes perfect sense, really. Why else would they interrupt Trump so many times? Surely not because he was steamrolling through the debate like a wrecking ball in a china shop. No, no—it had to be sorority cronyism! You know, like back in college, when your sisters always had your back during that really tough test (or in this case, an even tougher debate).
In conclusion, what we witnessed wasn’t a debate—it was a sorority sleepover where Kamala got to giggle her way to victory while her sisters-in-crime (or in Greek life, rather) made sure she never had to break a sweat. The debate might’ve had podiums, but make no mistake—it was all Greek to us.
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