A coalition of mermaids has filed a lawsuit against global coffee giant Starbucks, accusing the company of misrepresenting their image with its iconic siren logo. The group, calling themselves "Real Mermaids Real Images" (RMRI), claims the logo features an unrealistic portrayal of mermaid physiques and are an insult to mermaids everywhere and should include "more fins and fewer frappuccinos”
Leading the aquatic charge is none other than Madison from the 1984 hit "Splash," who surfaced for a rare press conference on the beach. "It's all about representation," she stated, brushing seaweed from her hair. "When young mermaids see that logo, they get the wrong idea about tail-to-body ratios. It's creating unattainable beauty standards down here below the sea."
Ariel, from "The Little Mermaid," also voiced her support through an interpreter. "Look at this stuff, isn't it neat? But would you think the logo's complete? It doesn't show the world the real us, and honestly, it's just super wrong," she sang, to the cheers of her sea creature friends.
The mermaids' legal petition criticizes Starbucks for the siren's "unrealistically symmetrical tails and provocative posing," which they argue promotes a "fishy" stereotype that doesn't represent the true diversity of the ocean's mermaid population. "We have mermaids from the Arctic to the Amazon, and none of us have ever perched on a rock holding coffee," complained one RMRI member.
The lawsuit has sparked a tidal wave of support from various marine life, with cameos from celebrity supporters like Charlie The Tuna " who declared, "I don't usually side with the mermaids, but I agree the logo could use more clarity.”
Starbucks has responded with a pledge to consider more inclusive designs, perhaps even launching a line of drinks inspired by real mermaid tales. "We take this feedback seriously and are open to exploring ways to make our logo as inclusive as the ocean is deep," stated a Starbucks spokesperson,
As the case progresses, both the court of public opinion and the actual court will have to navigate these murky waters. Whether or not the mermaids win their case, one thing is clear: the seas are changing, and even corporate giants might have to swim a little faster to keep up.
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