Hold onto your broomsticks and break out the holy water, folks! Rumor has it that if Donald Trump wins the 2024 election, he’s planning the most colossal cleanup ever seen in the White House. Forget about your typical dusting and vacuuming—Trump’s going supernatural. Yes, you read that right. Word on the street is he’s considering bringing in an exorcist to banish the demons and negative vibes of his predecessor. And no, this isn’t the plot of a new Netflix series—this is political reality TV at its finest.
Holy Guacamole, Batman!
The first item on Trump's agenda? A full-scale spiritual cleansing. Apparently, the White House has more ghosts than a Scooby-Doo episode. Trump’s team is scouring the globe for the best exorcists, ghostbusters, and spiritual cleansers. “We need the big guns,” Trump allegedly said. “I want this place cleaner than a nun’s browser history.”
Ghostbusters: Trump Edition
Sources say Trump is reaching out to famous exorcists and spiritualists, including a call to the Vatican for some holy backup. “I’m not Catholic, but these guys know how to handle a haunting,” Trump reportedly explained. The Pope has yet to comment, but whispers of a Vatican-sponsored ghost-busting team are sending shockwaves through religious circles. Who needs an inauguration ball when you can have an exorcism?
Poltergeist Politics
Rumors are swirling that Trump’s team will conduct a séance to identify and evict any lingering spirits. Imagine the scene: Trump, wearing a “Make Exorcisms Great Again” hat, leading a team of priests, shamans, and ghost hunters through the halls of the White House, chanting incantations and sprinkling holy water. One insider quipped, “We might even get a cameo from Casper if we’re lucky.”
Demon Busters and Bureaucracy
The logistics of this supernatural sweep are nothing short of absurd. There’s talk of converting the Situation Room into a Command Center for Exorcisms (CCE). Think about it: top military brass and paranormal experts working side by side. Forget drones and tanks; we’re talking sage, crystals, and holy relics. “We’ll leave no stone unturned,” vowed one enthusiastic aide. “No demon left behind!”
Holy Water Cooler Conversation
Office gossip has never been juicier. Will they find the ghost of Lincoln playing chess with the spirit of FDR? Will a specter of past interns rise to deliver messages from beyond? The possibilities are endless and endlessly entertaining. One can almost hear the whispers in the hallways: “Did you hear about the exorcist’s contract? It includes a clause for ‘extra hauntings’.”
Spiritual Detox: The Final Frontier
And let's not forget the post-exorcism detox plan. Trump’s team is reportedly considering a full spiritual makeover, complete with feng shui consultations and aura cleansing. “We’re talking about realigning the Oval Office with positive energy,” said an insider. “It’s like a spiritual spring cleaning, but with more chanting and fewer vacuum cleaners.”
So there you have it, dear readers. The future of the White House could involve more holy water than a cathedral on Easter Sunday, more chanting than a yoga retreat, and more ghost stories than a campfire circle.
Whether you’re a believer or a skeptic, one thing is certain: Trump’s post-election plans are anything but ordinary. Grab your popcorn, because this is one political exorcism you won’t want to miss!
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