In a stunning victory for the world of feelings over facts, transgender activists have successfully rewritten the dictionary definition of gender to mean whatever the heck you want it to mean.
"At the heart of our movement is the radical redefinition of the word 'gender'," declared activist Mia Tu, "Forget about those pesky XY and XX chromosomes – gender is now all about how you feel inside. If you identify as a unicorn, congratulations, you're a magical creature now!"
Critics of the movement have raised eyebrows at the idea of basing reality on feelings. "So, according to this logic, if I feel like a millionaire, does that mean I can just walk into a bank and demand all the money?" pondered skeptic Doug Skeptic. "Because I've been feeling like a millionaire ever since I discovered online shopping."
But activists are undeterred by such logical quibbles. "This isn't about logic, it's about liberation!" exclaimed Tu. "We're freeing ourselves from the oppressive shackles of biology and embracing the limitless possibilities of self-identification. I identify as a triple-decker pizza, and ain't nobody gonna stop me!"
The redefinition of gender has sparked controversy in public spaces, particularly women's restrooms. I went into the ladies' room, ready to conquer my bladder's demands, when lo and behold, I spotted a man confidently standing at the toilet relieving himself like he owned the place," recounted Sally, still trying to wrap her head around the absurdity of it all. "Naturally, I had to do a double-take and ask what in the world he was doing there. And you know what he said? He casually shrugged and claimed he identified as a woman, mid-stream! Talk about aiming for gender equality – quite literally!
As the debate rages on, one thing is clear: reality has officially taken a backseat to feelings. So go ahead, embrace your inner unicorn, identify as a turnip, and live your truth – just don't expect the rest of us to take you seriously.
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