The Biden Family Tree
President Joe Biden took the opportunity during a recent campaign stop in Pennsylvania to not just discuss policies and promises, but to delve into the deep, and sometimes bizarre, historical annals of his family tree. From Uncle Ambrose's unfortunate cannibal encounter to a whole lineup of peculiar ancestral exploits, Biden's lineage appears to have been everywhere significant—sometimes with hilarious consequences.
Uncle Ambrose, famous WWII Pilot, eaten by cannibals in new Guinea
"Take my great-great-grandfather, Ezekiel Biden," the President chuckled to an incredulous audience. "He was with Custer at the Last Stand. Sold him a map that was supposed to lead to a shortcut. Let’s just say, history might have been a bit different if Zeke had thrown in a compass."
Great-Great Grandpa Ezekiel Biden providing General Custer a map to avoid the Indians.
But it doesn’t stop with military misadventures. One of Biden's ancestors was reportedly integral to a pivotal moment in scientific history. "And then there’s 'Kite-Flying' Kaleb Biden," Joe Biden beamed with a grin. "Ben Franklin was short a kite during his electricity experiments, and Kaleb, always the entrepreneur, lent him one made from his wife’s best silk scarf. She wasn't pleased, but hey, we got electricity!"
Kaleb Biden the real reason electricity was discovered..
The anecdotes continued with Abigail Biden, known in the family as 'Alligator Abby.' "Abby was a bit of a wild one," Biden admitted. "Migrated down to Florida and supposedly wrestled alligators for fun. Some say she even taught a young Walt Disney how to draw animals. Inspired his first sketches of what would eventually become Mickey Mouse.
Alligator Abby having fun with her gators.
"Not to be outdone by land and science, the Biden lineage also boasts a maritime marvel. "Oh, and let's not forget Captain Jeremiah Biden," the President said, winking. "The unsung hero of the Boston Tea Party. It was his idea to disguise the protestors as Native Americans. Though, between you and me, he just really didn't like the taste of tea."
Jeremiah Biden - Let's have a tea party
Whether these tales are tall or true, one thing is certain: Joe Biden's family tree is as rich and entertaining as a folkloric tapestry, woven with the threads of American history and a good dose of imagination. As for the campaign trail, Biden assures there are more stories where those came from. "Just wait until I tell you about the time my third cousin twice removed who accidentally cracked the Liberty Bell. Now, there’s a story for another day!"
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