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Writer's pictureThe Elephant

PARODY: The MAGA Menace: How Extremists Want to Ruin a Perfectly Chaotic World



Alright folks, hold onto your hats and tusks because we’ve got some extreme, radical, outlandish beliefs to expose today. Yes, you’ve heard about those dastardly MAGA extremists from our beloved President Biden. But did you know just how bonkers these people really are? They’re so off-the-wall, they actually believe in common sense! Let’s dive trunk-first into their outrageous convictions.


Sovereign Nation? Secure Borders? Outrageous!

These MAGA maniacs believe that America should be a sovereign nation. Imagine that! They want to secure the borders and ensure people migrate legally. What’s next, breathing air only if it’s legal? These extremists have the audacity to think that a country should control its own territory. How retro!


War? No Thanks!

Here’s a real kicker: these folks don’t want to get involved in foreign wars. They’re practically allergic to the idea of war! They dream of a world where peace is a possibility. How dare they disrupt the perfectly chaotic global order?


Women in Women’s Sports? Preposterous!

Hold your elephant laughter for this one: MAGA extremists believe that only women should compete in women’s sports. They think men can’t become pregnant. Seriously, where do they get these ideas? They actually believe biology should have a say in sports and reproduction. What a concept!


Credentials Over Quotas? Blasphemy!

In the employment world, these extremists think people should be hired based on their credentials instead of their skin color or sexual preferences. They’ve got this wild notion that merit matters. How could they even suggest such fairness? It’s simply disgusting!


Babies in the Womb are Humans? Absurd!

Brace yourself: MAGA extremists believe that babies in the womb are human beings. They actually think these tiny beings have rights. Next, they’ll be saying kittens are cute or something equally outrageous!


Hypocrisy and Climate Change? Say It Ain’t So!

These lunatics think it’s hypocritical to buy oceanfront property and jet around in private planes while screaming about climate change. They’ve got the nerve to point out contradictions. Clearly, they just don’t understand the elite’s need for luxury while lecturing the masses.


Good Citizens with Guns? Inconceivable!

Get this: they believe only law abiding people should own guns. Unbelievable, right? They think safety comes from responsible ownership. It’s almost like they want to prevent crime or something. The nerve!


Made in America? Ridiculous!

They want more products made in America. Can you imagine the horror of supporting local industries and jobs? These extremists think American products should be made by Americans. What will they think of next?


Voting Restrictions ? Insanity!

Oh, the audacity! MAGA extremists believe that only American citizens should vote in American elections. But wait, there’s more: they think a person should only be able to vote once, and here’s the kicker—they must be alive to vote. Just imagine the chaos this could cause in the afterlife voting blocs!


Parental Permission for Medical Decisions? Ludicrous!

They believe children shouldn’t be able to make irreversible medical decisions without parental permission. It’s like they think parents should have a say in their kids’ lives. How utterly 1950s of them!


Free Speech for Everyone? Terrifying!

These extremists want free speech, even for those who say mean things. Can you believe the horror? They think people should be allowed to express themselves, even if it’s offensive. They actually trust individuals to handle different viewpoints. Shocking!


Personal Choice in Healthcare? Madness!

Lastly, these radicals believe the government shouldn’t forcibly inject experimental drugs into people’s bodies. They think individuals should have a choice. Can you imagine living in a world where personal choice matters? Utter madness!


So, there you have it, folks. The MAGA extremists and their absurd beliefs. They threaten our perfectly chaotic, inconsistent world with their crazy ideas of common sense, personal responsibility, and fairness. Beware of these radicals, for they might just bring sanity back into fashion!

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