Laugh Attack: VP Harris' Bodyguard Can't Stop Giggling, Hospitalized for Hilarity Overdose

April 25, 2024 Location: Washington D.C., In a shocking and somewhat amusing twist at Ronald Reagan Airport, a U.S. Secret Service agent assigned to Vice President Kamala Harris has been hospitalized for what colleagues describe as “extreme and uncontrollable mimicry” of the Vice President’s distinctive laughter.
The incident raises concerns about the occupational hazards of prolonged exposure to high-level political figures. The agent, who has been with the Secret Service for over a decade, reportedly began the morning briefing by unexpectedly bursting into a laughter that eerily mirrored Harris’s own. “It was all the giggles and none of the jokes,” one bewildered colleague remarked. Witnesses report that the laughter escalated in intensity, making it impossible to discuss serious matters such as national security and breakfast choices.
A spokesperson for the Secret Service, trying hard not to crack a smile, stated, “While we train our agents to adapt and blend into many environments, unfortunately, no amount of training could prepare someone for this.” The agent in question was promptly removed from the premises and taken to a local hospital where specialists in bizarre political afflictions assessed his condition.
Experts are divided on the diagnosis. Dr. Smile, a laughter specialist, suggests it might be a rare case of "Vicarious Guffaw Syndrome" (VGS), a condition where individuals uncontrollably replicate the laughter of those they spend excessive time around. Meanwhile, Dr. Hue Moore posits it could be an acute case of "Satirical Parroting," sometimes seen in the president's staff meetings but never before in Secret Service personnel.
The Vice President has not personally commented on the situation, but her office released a statement saying they are monitoring the situation and wishing the agent a speedy recovery, while also subtly inquiring if the laughter could be weaponized for use in Congress to break filibusters.
As for the agent, he is on a strict "no chuckle" diet and is barred from watching comedies, attending stand-up shows, or listening to any recordings of the Vice President until further notice. The Secret Service is also considering additional training modules including, “Maintaining Composure in the Face of Unintentional Humor” and “Advanced Stoicism.
”This incident opens up a broader debate on the psychological impact of working closely with politicians known for their unique quirks. For now, the Secret Service may need to reassess their exposure limits, possibly rotating agents more frequently or providing noise-canceling headphones as standard issue. In light of the event, one senior agent advised, “If you feel the urge to giggle, step back, think of tax codes or read the phone book. It’s for your own safety.”
Comments