Duck season just came early to the highways! Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg has hatched a revolutionary plan to replace all car horns with duck quacks in an attempt to reduce road rage and add a bit of feathered fun to your daily commute.
During a press conference that was part policy announcement, part comedy show, Buttigieg declared, “Why scream in traffic when you can quack? It’s time to replace those aggressive honks with something more delightful. Imagine the soundscape of our cities filled with the gentle quacks of our feathered friends!”
The announcement has caused quite a flap among drivers and ducks alike. “It’s a quacking good idea,” Buttigieg continued, barely containing his laughter. “We believe this change will make roads safer and funnier.” Car manufacturers are already on board, with companies like Ford Motors and Tesla leading the charge.
Soon, cars rolling off the assembly line will be equipped with state-of-the-art Quackomatics, ensuring every beep is replaced with a soothing quack. Engineers assure us these devices are highly sophisticated, with settings ranging from a mild mallard mumble to an assertive angry drake.
Critics, however, are quick to cry fowl. “This is just another example of quack policy from a lame-duck administration,” squawked one political opponent. “What’s next? Replacing sirens with cowbells?”
Buttigieg, unfazed, responded with a pun-filled retort: “Don’t be such a wet blanket. Let’s give quack a chance!”
Meanwhile, others are less than thrilled. “If I hear one more quack while I’m stuck in traffic, I’m going to lose my feathers,” grumbled a clearly ruffled commuter.
Economists predict a boom in the duck call industry, with an increase in jobs for duck trainers and quack sound technicians. The new quack horns will be regulated to ensure compliance with federal Quack Standards, designed to prevent auditory chaos on the roads.
Ultimately, as Buttigieg’s plan takes flight, one thing is certain: the roads will never sound the same again. So, get ready to trade in your honks for quacks, and let’s waddle into a new era of traffic noise.
With any luck, this initiative will turn road rage into road ribbit, and our commutes into a symphony of silly sounds. And as we all know, laughter is the best medicine—even for road rage. So, honk if you’re outraged... but quack if you’re having fun!
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