In a groundbreaking move aimed at recognizing Hollywood's most socially conscious productions, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences has announced the addition of a new category to the Oscars: Best Virtue Signaling Film.
"We're thrilled to introduce this new category to honor the films that go above and beyond in showcasing progressive values and signaling the virtues of our industry," declared Oscar committee member, Chad McFeely, while sipping organic kale smoothie from a biodegradable straw.
The decision comes after years of criticism that Hollywood's elite are more interested in patting themselves on the back for their perceived moral superiority than producing quality entertainment. But fear not, dear cinephiles, for the Academy has heard your cries and is now ready to honor the most shamelessly virtuous films of the year.
The criteria for nomination in this category are as follows:
Wokeness Quotient: How many trendy social justice buzzwords are crammed into the script? Bonus points for every mention of "intersectionality," "cisgender privilege," and "microaggressions."
Diversity Showcase: The more checkboxes ticked off in the casting department, the better. Extra points for token representation and performative inclusivity.
Villainous Conservatives: Every good virtue signaling film needs a mustache-twirling, MAGA hat-wearing antagonist to serve as a punching bag for the protagonist's morally superior worldview.
Savior Complex: The protagonist must swoop in to save marginalized groups from their own oppression, preferably while delivering a stirring monologue about systemic injustice.
Feel-Good Factor: Does the film leave audiences feeling morally superior to the unwashed masses who haven't seen it? If so, it's a shoo-in for nomination.
Some early contenders for the inaugural Best Virtue Signaling Film include:
"Climate Justice: The Musical" - A heartwarming tale of a talented group of activists who save the planet one protest song at a time, starring Greta Thunberg as herself.
"Cancel Culture Chronicles" - A gripping drama about a young social media influencer who takes down problematic celebrities one tweet at a time, featuring cameos from the entire cast of "The View."
"Vegan Vengeance" - A gritty revenge thriller about a vegan warrior who takes on the meat industry armed only with kale smoothies and a killer tofu recipe.
While some critics have dismissed the new category as pandering to Hollywood's liberal elite, others see it as a long overdue acknowledgment of the film industry's commitment to social justice.
"It's about time we started rewarding films that challenge the status quo and inspire real change," remarked acclaimed director, Crystal Snowflake, as she sipped fair-trade coffee from a recycled cup. "After all, what's the point of art if it's not making the world a better place?"
With the addition of Best Virtue Signaling Film, the Oscars are poised to become even more self-congratulatory than ever before. And isn't that what Hollywood is all about?
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