In a bold move that economic experts are calling “revolutionary” and “definitely not a cause for immediate concern,” the U.S. government has unveiled its latest solution to combat the soaring prices of everyday essentials: a generous loan program with an interest rate of only 25%.
Dubbed “Build Debt Better” (BDB), the program promises to help American families keep up with the rising costs of groceries, utilities, and gas by essentially allowing them to mortgage their future earnings in exchange for being able to buy essentials like bread and milk. One Biden official said ‘it’s not just about getting by, it’s about building a robust future of endless monthly payments. It's about commitment!” Alongside the main initiative, the government has introduced the "Mortgage Your Meals Plan," a supplementary option allowing families to leverage their dinner plates as collateral against grocery loans. “Why just eat your food when you can also owe money on it?”
The Secretary of the Treasury announced the program from the steps of a newly opened dollar store in Washington, D.C., saying, "The Build Debt Better program ensures that no American will stress over affording gas to commute to work, as the job helps repay the loan for gas needed to get to work. It creates a self-sustaining cycle of economic stimulation!"
Under the terms of the Build Debt Better initiative, consumers can apply for instant loans at the checkout line of participating supermarkets and gas stations. There’s no need for credit checks; applicants only need to provide proof of breathing. The loans come with a flat 25% interest rate, which the Treasury Department described as “a steal compared to payday loans and that loan shark your uncle knows.
”To illustrate the benefits of the program, the government provided a hypothetical scenario where a family borrows $100 to pay for a week’s groceries. By following the standard repayment plan, they will only owe $800 by the end of the year, a manageable sum that can be easily refinanced under the forthcoming “Debt Spiral Enhancement Program.”
“I was a bit worried when I first heard about the 25% interest rate,” said one shopper as she used the BDB kiosk to buy her groceries. “But then I thought, who knows if money will even exist next year at the rate we’re going? Might as well enjoy it while I can! Plus, I heard the BDB program comes with a free tote bag if you enroll in autopay."
For more information on opening your Build Debt Bigger loan, go to www.SpendNowGroanLater.Gov.
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