In a move that has sent shockwaves through the political universe and "Ripley's Believe It or Not", former President Donald Trump announced his 2024 vice-presidential pick: who is none other than Hunter Biden, the son of his political arch-nemesis, Joe Biden. Political analysts, already exhausted from trying to predict Trump’s next tweet, are now being treated for “severe bewilderment” at local hospitals.
Trump, who made the announcement from his war room, explained his unorthodox choice with characteristic subtlety: “Folks, if Hunter’s on my team, they’ll stop investigating me – it’s perfect! The Swamp won’t touch him, and therefore, won’t touch me. It’s genius, really. Tremendous strategy.”
Political insiders, experiencing extreme cognitive dissonance, momentarily paused as they attempted to recalibrate their political compasses to this new reality.
When asked for comment, a bewildered Joe Biden merely shrugged and asked if this was a new kind of strategy game.
Meanwhile, Hunter Biden, reached at his art gallery where he was trying to sell paintings of the White House for $500,000 apiece, was equally astounded. “I thought it was a joke,” he said, adjusting his paint-splattered smock. “Then I remembered it's 2024, and in 2024, every joke is a reality.”
On Twitter, reactions ranged from “Is this an SNL skit?” to “I’ve moved to Mars. Earth is too weird.” The response from left-wing commentators has been a chaotic mix of outrage and amusement. "This must be some kind of reverse psychology tactic," one pundit opined live on air, barely keeping a straight face. "Or perhaps Trump is pioneering a new genre of political surrealism. Either way, it's ratings gold!"
GOP leaders, scrambling to respond, held a press conference. “We support the former president’s decision,” said one senator, sweating profusely. As the news sinks in, Americans are left to ponder the future while watching the 2024 race, which now includes a ticket that could double as a reality TV show: “Keeping Up with the Candidates.” Tune in, or better yet, tune out.
In a surprising twist, sources close to Hillary Clinton reveal that she secretly called Trump to congratulate him on his VP pick. "Brilliant move, Donald," she allegedly said, "I just wish I'd thought of it first. But, you know, Chelsea might be available as a backup, should Hunter... well, you know."
Comentarios