PARODY: From the Department of You Can't Make This Stuff Up.

Economist in Chief Discovered to be Unclear on Concept of Money, Borrowing, or How Pants Work.

As criticism mounts over the ailing state of the U.S. economy, many have pointed fingers at President Biden. However, a closer examination of his advisory team, specifically Jared Bernstein, Chief Economist and Economic Policy Adviser, provides some context as to why America's economic policy seems like it's navigating without a compass.

Bernstein recently proclaimed that "The US government cannot go bankrupt because it can print its own money." This statement struck many as an explanation more fitting for a board game than the world’s largest economy, raising eyebrows and chuckles alike.

Bernstein’s understanding of economics seems to be a bold mix of wishful thinking and oversimplification—a concoction that might leave the financially savvy wondering if this is akin to asking a child playing flight simulator games to suddenly pilot a plane carrying 170 passengers to their destination.

The depth of Bernstein’s qualifications can be further unraveled with his unique approach to explaining fiscal policies, which often seem to evoke more mysticism than clarity. His theories often circle back to themselves like a dog chasing its tail, leaving listeners both dizzy and none the wiser.

This has led to a renaissance of sorts within academic circles, with institutions debating whether to introduce "Bernsteinian Economics" as a study of how not to handle a national economy. The course promises to delve into the art of making complex decisions based on what seems like a random draw of economic terms from a hat.

This is a mismatch of epic proportions, where good intentions crash headlong into the rocky shores of reality. As Bernstein navigated these turbulent financial waters, perhaps the most pressing question he faces isn't about the economy—it's whether he's fully aware which way his economic compass is pointing. With advisors like these, it’s no wonder the economic ship seems to be sailing in circles.

As the interview wrapped up, Bernstein was seen whispering to his assistant, "Check if my pants are on backwards." Economic pundits suggest this might be the most lucid thing he has said all day.