PARODY: Biden Reelection Team Recruits Votes from Cemeteries, Promises Full Voter Rights for All Undead

WASHINGTON, D.C. - In an unprecedented move to bolster voter turnout, the Biden reelection team has announced their groundbreaking new strategy of securing the support of America's dearly departed. With their campaign slogan, "Every Ghost Gets a Vote," the administration aims to ensure that no voter, living or otherwise, is left unheard.

"Our goal is inclusivity," said one senior campaign advisor while handing out pamphlets in a cemetery under the cover of night. "The dead have long been disenfranchised, and we believe it's time to give them the democratic rights they deserve."

Party officials have been seen canvassing cemeteries with surprising success. But are these endorsements enough to sway the living?

“We’re not saying that folks are rolling in their graves, but if they were, it’d be towards the nearest ballot box,” stated campaign spokesperson Mortie Morgue. “Joe Biden offers a platform that speaks to them: eternal stability, unwavering commitment to consistency, and the kind of representation that understands six feet deep issues.”

The team has already mobilized an extensive network of volunteers to reach voters in the great beyond. These dedicated volunteers knock on grave stones, urging the dead to submit their absentee ballots.

However, not all share this spirit of democracy. Old Man Jed, a lifelong resident of a small Midwestern town, made his stance clear as he whittled a gravestone-shaped cane: “When I die, don’t let me vote Democrat!” he declared. “I want to rest in peace, not in political turmoil!”

Some skeptics have raised concerns about this strategy, but the campaign remains undeterred. "We've got a lot of strong support among the deceased demographic," a spokesperson assured us. "They're loyal, consistent, and always turn up at the polls – or, more accurately, float up."

Biden recently appeared in a press conference, insisting that the initiative is "all about giving a voice to every American, whether they're above ground or below." With a twinkle in his eye, he added, "Look, folks, we can't leave anyone out of this election, even if they've been sleeping a while. So let's all band together and make sure our founding fathers — and the rest of our forefathers — get their say."

In his closing remarks, he acknowledged the challenges of winning over the spectral constituency but remained confident: "We'll keep fighting to earn every vote, even if it means reaching across the afterlife aisle." And so, the campaign trudges on, digging deeper than ever in search of every last supporter.