MUSING: The Great Divide ~ Wise Owls vs. Foolish Ducks in the Human Birdbath

Once upon a time in the grand and gloriously perplexing human birdbath, two distinct species emerged: the Wise Owls and the Foolish Ducks. Contrary to popular belief, the world was not segmented by trivialities such as race, gender, politics, or religion. No, dear reader, it was split between those who had a knack for wisdom and those who, well, waddled through life in a constant state of quacking confusion.

The Rise of the Wise Owls

The Wise Owls, perched high on the branches of enlightenment, spent their days in philosophical debate, sipping chamomile tea, and solving complex puzzles. They pondered the great mysteries of life, like why socks disappear in the laundry and whether the chicken or the egg came first (spoiler: it’s neither; it’s the Wise Owl, obviously).

These sagacious creatures could see beyond the superficial differences that typically divide humanity. To them, a person's value wasn't determined by skin color, political party, or religious affiliation but by their ability to distinguish between a genuine crisis and a social media outrage. They revered intelligence, common sense, and the rare ability to change a flat tire without consulting YouTube.

The Waddle of the Foolish Ducks

On the other end of the pond waddled the Foolish Ducks, blissfully unaware of their folly. These Ducks spent their time quarreling over the silliest of things, like the proper way to hang toilet paper (clearly, it's over, not under) and whether pineapple belongs on pizza (the Wise Owls wisely abstain from such culinary heresy).

The Foolish Ducks were experts at creating problems where none existed. They divided themselves into factions based on arbitrary criteria, each group convinced they were superior because of their chosen markers: feather color, quack pitch, or even preferred swimming patterns. They held annual Duck Debates, where they'd argue vehemently about whether it was better to swim clockwise or counterclockwise around the birdbath, often forgetting that they were all just going in circles.

The Great Birdbath Summit

To bridge the growing divide, the Wise Owls proposed a Great Birdbath Summit. Foolish Ducks were invited to perch alongside the Owls to discuss their differences and, ideally, discover their shared humanity. The Wise Owls, ever hopeful, believed this could be the dawn of a new era of understanding.

The summit began with an Owl addressing the crowd, "Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears," which prompted the Ducks to look around in confusion, wondering where the Romans had come from. After clarifying that it was a figure of speech, the Owls continued, urging unity and emphasizing common ground.

The Ducks, however, quickly devolved into a debate about the Owl's perceived favoritism towards Romans. One particularly indignant Duck quacked, "What about the Greeks? Are they not wise too?" The Owls sighed, realizing the monumental task at hand.

Lessons Learned (or Not)

Despite their best efforts, the Wise Owls struggled to impart their wisdom. The Foolish Ducks remained steadfast in their commitment to division, now forming new factions: pro-Roman Ducks, pro-Greek Ducks, and a rebellious splinter group that believed the summit was an elaborate hoax by the pigeons.

In the end, the Wise Owls flew back to their branches, shaking their heads in bemusement. They continued their quest for knowledge and understanding, while the Foolish Ducks returned to their birdbath, endlessly circling and quacking about the latest perceived slights.

Conclusion

Thus, the human birdbath remains divided not by the superficial distinctions of race, gender, politics, or religion, but by wisdom and folly. And as the Wise Owls often say, "You can lead a Duck to water, but you can't make it think."