From the "You Really Can't Make This Stuff Up" department, the mass media strikes again. MSNBC has proclaimed that if Joe Biden recovers from COVID, it should be seen as a sign of strength, akin to Donald Trump surviving an assassination attempt. Yes, you read that right. The next headline will probably be, "Biden Finds Lost Sock – A Triumph Over Adversity."
Let’s dive into this absurdity, shall we?
The Battle of the Titans: Virus vs. Bullets
According to MSNBC, Biden’s potential recovery from COVID is a Herculean feat, comparable to Trump dodging bullets like Neo in "The Matrix." Because, you know, battling a virus with a 99% recovery rate is *exactly* the same as surviving an assassination attempt.
Just picture it: Trump, narrowly avoiding a hail of gunfire, while Biden heroically battles his sniffles from the comfort of the Oval Office. MSNBC’s logic suggests that if Biden manages to kick COVID, he might as well get a Purple Heart.
The Media's Masterclass in Hyperbole
MSNBC’s take is a masterclass in media hyperbole. It’s like saying, “If Biden can finish a jigsaw puzzle, it’s like storming the beaches of Normandy.” Or, “If Biden can tie his shoes without tripping, he’s basically scaling Everest.”
One can only imagine the newsroom brainstorming session: “Alright team, how can we make Biden beating COVID sound epic? I got it! Let’s compare it to surviving an assassination! That’s totally reasonable, right?”
The Glorification of the Common Cold
We can’t help but marvel at the media’s attempts to minimize an actual assassination attempt against Trump while turning Biden’s potential recovery into the next Marvel movie. Maybe next time Biden sneezes, MSNBC will compare it to the Apollo 11 moon landing.
It’s as if they’re working from a playbook titled, "How to Make the Ordinary Extraordinary." Step one: Inflate mundane events to mythical proportions. Step two: Downplay anything remotely significant if it involves Trump.
The Satirical Spin
So, what’s next for MSNBC? Will they start broadcasting Biden’s daily breakfast choices as monumental decisions? “Today, Biden chose oatmeal over cornflakes – a sign of his unwavering commitment to fiber!”
Meanwhile, Trump dodging bullets is shrugged off as a casual Tuesday. Maybe they’ll start comparing Biden’s morning jog to running a marathon while Trump’s rallies are merely brisk walks in the park.
A Comedy of Errors
This whole debacle is a comedy of errors, a satirical masterpiece in its own right. The absurdity of equating a virus recovery to surviving an assassination attempt is peak 2024. It’s the media equivalent of saying, “If Biden can survive a stubbed toe, he’s basically Superman.”
In conclusion, MSNBC has outdone themselves, proving once again that when it comes to media bias, they’ve got a black belt. Stay tuned for their next headline: “Biden Opens Jar of Pickles – A True Testament to His Strength and Resolve.”
Until then, we’ll be here, laughing at the sheer lunacy of it all and wondering what other feats of mundane heroism Biden will conquer next. Perhaps rescuing a cat from a tree? The possibilities are endless.
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**Disclaimer:**
While I do not view COVID-19, with its over 99% recovery rate, as anywhere near comparable to an assassination attempt, and despite my non-pro-Biden stance, I want to be clear that I do not wish any harm upon President Joe Biden or anyone around him, including his family and staff. The purpose of my articles is to provide a light-hearted perspective on the news to help maintain a sense of sanity in these times. I sincerely wish President Biden a speedy recovery.
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