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Merrick Garland's Tape Twisters Part II. (MUSING)

Writer's picture: The ElephantThe Elephant

Ah, the Biden-Hur tapes. In an October 2023 interview, Robert Hur described President Biden with the delicate euphemism of having "mental lapses," sparking a controversy that could only be rivaled by a Kardashian tweet. Fast forward to February, and Hur's team stumbled upon classified information Biden had stashed away regarding the Obama administration’s Ukraine policy. But instead of prosecution, Hur portrayed Biden as a "sympathetic, well-meaning elderly man" with "significant memory limitations." You could almost hear the violins playing in the background.


But wait, there’s more! Attorney General Merrick Garland, always the master of suspense, has kept these tapes from public view for months after Biden invoked executive privilege in May. The House was so miffed, they passed a resolution in June to hold Garland in contempt for dodging a congressional subpoena. Then, in a dazzling display of legislative fireworks, Rep. Anna Paulina Luna led a failed July resolution to fine Garland $10,000 daily until he coughed up the tapes. The resolution flopped by a 204-210 vote—close, but no cigar.


The DOJ, in their infinite wisdom, argued that releasing the Biden-Hur tapes would cause "unwarranted privacy harms" and lacked "any meaningful countervailing public benefit," like a chef declaring that dessert lacks nutrition. They also claimed it would "interfere with witness cooperation," which is lawyer-speak for "we just don't wanna." According to the Washington Examiner, Tom Fitton, president of Judicial Watch, remarked, "I’ve been doing this for nearly 30 years, and I really haven’t seen a desperate effort like this to avoid disclosure." You almost feel bad for Fitton—he sounds like he’s seen it all, but Garland is always ready to up the ante.


Garland's Houdini act reminds us of that old trick where the magician says, "Watch closely," and then never actually reveals the rabbit. “No public benefit,” he says. Of course, he would say that. Imagine every criminal, caught red-handed, simply claiming, "There’s no public benefit in seeing me caught." Garland might as well have pulled a shiny penny from behind his ear while testifying before Congress, using the same tired excuse to dodge every question.


Let’s not forget the public interest here. Those tapes could reveal if Biden is truly fit to be the commander-in-chief, the keeper of the nuclear codes. And if that's not enough to warrant a public viewing, what is? The last three years of bewildering policies from the Biden administration alone are reason enough. Men identifying as women and competing in women's sports, billions of tax dollars funding proxy wars nobody asked for, and a border that seems to have a "Welcome All" sign—none of this makes any sense. Something stinks, and it’s not last night’s leftovers.


Garland’s denials are costing the country dearly. His refusal to release the tapes digs us into a deeper hole, preventing us from uncovering the truth. The American public deserves answers to ensure such baffling decisions don’t repeat. Regardless of what Garland says, the tapes should be released.


One final note: Let’s not forget, this same sort of cloak-and-dagger secrecy is what led to Nixon’s impeachment. Doctoring up transcripts and withholding tapes set the precedent. Either Garland complies fully, or he faces the music completely.


So here’s to Merrick Garland, the magician with a bag of tricks, who’s turned transparency into a disappearing act. The American people deserve better than smoke and mirrors. Release the tapes, Garland, and let’s see what’s really going on behind the curtain.


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