Chris Wray speculates that it is certainly possible that this could be the result of an earache or even an aggressive mosquito bite. It's possible, he says.
FBI Director Christopher Wray managed to turn a serious assassination attempt on former President Donald Trump into a Monty Python sketch during his recent remarks to the House Judiciary Committee. Forget about solving crimes—Wray seems more suited for diagnosing imaginary ailments in the land of satire.
"Well, with respect to former President Trump, there's some question about whether or not it’s a bullet or shrapnel that, you know, that hit his ear," Wray declared, with the confidence of a man who just discovered a new conspiracy theory involving unicorns and rainbows.
Yes, you heard that right. The head of the FBI can't decide if Trump was hit by a bullet or a rogue piece of shrapnel that somehow developed a vendetta against his ear. It's almost as if Wray had his medical degree delivered by Amazon Prime, along with a DIY detective kit.
Rep. Kevin Kiley (R-Calif.) attempted to extract some clarity from the confusion, only to receive Wray's brilliantly vague reply: "Either a bullet or a piece of shrapnel is what grazed [Trump’s] ear." Wray's testimony sounded more like he was describing a minor scrape from a gardening mishap rather than an assassination attempt.
If Wray had been giving testimony about Abraham Lincoln, he would likely have suggested it was just a "very bad migraine" that caused the 16th president to slump in his theater seat. And for JFK? Oh, it would have been nothing more than a "flesh wound."
Hospital records and direct testimony from Trump's doctor unequivocally indicate it was, in fact, a bullet that struck his ear. Yet, Wray’s bumbling attempts to downplay the incident are nothing short of comedic gold. One can only imagine the conversation if it had been Wray at the helm during Lincoln's time:
"Mr. Wray, was President Lincoln shot?"
"Well, there's some question about whether it was a bullet or maybe he just had a really bad headache."
Or in Dallas, 1963:
"Mr. Wray, was President Kennedy assassinated?"
"Eh, it’s debatable. Could’ve just been a nasty paper cut. You know how sharp those Texas newspapers can be."
Wray’s performance before the committee was less a display of FBI expertise and more a masterclass in political tap dancing. He bobbed, weaved, and sidestepped any concrete statements, turning the serious matter of an assassination attempt into an absurd circus act. If he’s trying to prove he’s politically motivated, he’s doing a fantastic job.
In the grand tradition of lampooning public figures who seem more adept at spinning tales than upholding justice, Wray’s testimony deserves a place in the hall of fame of political absurdity. The FBI director’s antics have done more to harm the credibility of his position than any rogue bullet or shrapnel ever could.
So, next time you feel a mysterious pain in your ear, don't bother with doctors—just call up Christopher Wray. He’ll probably tell you it's either an earache or the ghost of medical diagnoses past, here to haunt your auditory canal.
Chris Wray AKA the Black Night. It's just a flesh wound: https://youtu.be/ZmInkxbvlCs?si=7wt_0u_R6D42huwh
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