Goes from 0 to "Oh my God", what is that smell?!' in 2.3 seconds!"

The Future of Protest Disbursement Smells Like Victory (And Rotting Cabbage)
In what some are calling the most important advancement in automotive history since the wheel, Elon Musk has once again stunned the world with his latest creation: Le P.U., an all-electric vehicle equipped with an Active Protest Neutralization System (APNS), aka the “Skunk Cannon.”
The feature, which was reportedly inspired by Musk’s own experience getting stuck in a Just Stop Oil demonstration while trying to get to a SpaceX launch, emits a biological-grade, high-intensity stench cloud designed to clear road-blocking protests faster than a police baton charge at a climate rally.
“We ran thousands of scent simulations to find the exact formula that would send people running,” Musk tweeted. “After extensive testing, we finally settled on a blend of burnt hair, rotten eggs, gym socks, and Gavin Newsom’s hair gel.”
How It Works: A Symphony of Stench
The Le P.U. comes equipped with an advanced AI-driven protest detection system that can sense when an organized group of demonstrators is forming ahead. Once detected, the car’s Quad-Skunk Dispersal Unit releases a concentrated, high-pressure cloud of industrial-strength funk that clings to clothing and hair for up to 72 hours.
The protest-neutralizing power of Le P.U. was put to the test last weekend in San Francisco, where a group of activists attempted to glue themselves to the street in front of Tesla headquarters. Within seconds of Le P.U. activating, the glue lost its effectiveness as protesters clawed at their own noses, screaming for mercy.
“I thought I was strong,” said one protester, Skyler Birchwood-Wokeington III. “I’ve survived teargas, rubber bullets, and even a Zoom call with Kamala Harris, but nothing prepared me for this level of olfactory terrorism.”
Democratic Cities in Crisis as Le P.U. Owners Take Back the Streets
Major liberal cities are already reporting an exodus of professional protesters as Le P.U. owners deploy the vehicles en masse. Los Angeles, Portland, and Chicago are experiencing traffic flow for the first time in years as demonstrators are seen sprinting in all directions like human cockroaches after a light switch flips.
In New York, Mayor Eric Adams is considering an emergency ban on the vehicle, claiming the scent could cause an “equity imbalance” by disproportionately affecting vegan activists whose immune systems are weakened from a kale-only diet.
Meanwhile, Elon Musk mocked the ban attempt, responding: “If you don’t like the smell of capitalism, maybe don’t block traffic.”
New Features & Upgrades in the Works
Tesla has already announced future upgrades to Le P.U., including:
✅ Silent Mode – Allows users to pre-load the scent and release it via Bluetooth while safely at home.
✅ AI Protest Recognition – Automatically detects the difference between a climate protest and an actual emergency, ensuring Le P.U. is used only on people holding cardboard signs.
✅ Reverse Mode – In case of sudden activist regrouping, the rear exhaust system can deploy a second stink strike.
✅ VIP Mode – For politicians stuck in traffic, a private-use version of Le P.U. is being tested, currently named The Air Force Won.
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