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the elephant's Den

Breaking News: The Great Ad-pocalypse – When Advertising Goes Wild and Reality Takes a Vacation (PARODY)

Writer's picture: The ElephantThe Elephant

Updated: Jul 28, 2024

 Turning Headlines into Dollar Signs


Picture this: It’s Super Bowl Sunday 2020, and you’re just settling in with your overpriced nachos and even pricier beer. Suddenly, your screen is hijacked by Amazon Alexa and Google Assistant, battling it out in a 90-second showdown that costs an eye-watering $16.8 million each. That’s almost $187,000 per second – enough to make George Soros weep into his money bin. But why, oh why, would companies throw such a ridiculous sum at a fleeting ad? Because, dear reader, it works. Oh boy, does it work.


Advertising: The Ultimate Puppet Master

Advertising isn’t just about convincing you to buy the latest gadget or gizmo; it’s about steering the ship of public opinion like a seasoned pirate captain. Over the last decade, our trusty news outlets have morphed into glorified ad agencies, subtly (and not-so-subtly) shaping what we think, believe, and buy. Remember Orwell’s chilling words: “Who controls the past controls the future; who controls the present controls the past”? Well, it seems Big Brother has a new BFF – and it’s wearing a business suit and holding a marketing degree.


The Media’s Mind Control Shenanigans

We’re knee-deep in a social engineering experiment that would make any mad scientist proud. Fake news? Check. Ignored news? Double check. It’s like living in George Orwell’s “1984,” but with more commercials. Let’s recap some of the highlights (or lowlights) of the past four years, shall we?


Just a FEW examples:


Men Can Get Pregnant: Forget biology; advertising says it’s possible! And if it’s on TV, it must be true, right?

New Names For Women: Women are now “womb carriers,” “uterus havers,” and “birthing people.” Because why use one word when three will do? Sports Shenanigans: Men who “feel” like women can dominate women’s sports, snag scholarships, and stroll into women’s locker rooms. Progress!

Males Using Females Public Bathrooms: Allowing men into females spaces. What could possibly go wrong? Double Standards Galore: Wearing blackface is racist, but pretending to be a woman? Totally cool, according to the powers that be.

Biden’s Bizarre Qualifications: Too incompetent to stand trial for mishandling documents but perfectly competent to run the country. Makes sense, right?

Biden's Failed Presidency: President with lowest ratings endorses VP with lowest ratings to replace him. That's ok, she endorsed all of Joe Biden's policies. You see that's how it works.

Kamala’s Curious Career: Failed presidential candidate? No problem! Just become VP and eventually, the Democratic nominee. Who needs votes when you’ve got boxes to tick?

Kamala Was Not A DEI Hire: Despite Biden's announcement that there were only 2 qualifications for his VP (a woman and a person who was black). The Democrats are backing off this statement. How convenient.

Selective Law Enforcement:  Destroy government property? Meh, no biggie. Pray outside an abortion clinic? Off to the slammer with you!


Advertising: The Secret Sauce of Social Engineering

Why is this happening, you ask? The answer lies in the almighty power of advertising. Those flashy commercials and sponsored posts aren’t just selling products; they’re selling ideas, ideologies, and a whole new reality. And the media? They’re the puppeteers, expertly pulling the strings to make us dance to their tune.


If you think this sounds like a conspiracy theory, think again. The elite few who understand the intricate workings of the human mind have figured out how to control the masses without us even realizing it. Politics, business, social conduct, ethical thinking – it’s all under their thumb. They’re the ones pulling the wires that control our collective consciousness.


Wake Up and Smell the Deception

It’s high time we opened our eyes to the fact that the media isn’t just delivering news; they’re delivering carefully curated content designed to shape our thoughts and behaviors. The global elite are playing a high-stakes game of mind control, and we’re the pawns.


So, next time you see a $16.8 million ad, remember: It’s not just selling you a product. It’s selling you a narrative, a worldview, and a whole lot of absurdity. And while we’re laughing at the lunacy, let’s not forget the serious undertones of this satirical spectacle. After all, the joke’s on us – unless we wake up and reclaim our minds from the grip of the advertising overlords.


“If the entire political and media elite can manufacture the lie for 4+ years that President Biden isn’t cognitively impaired, what else might they have lied about and are lying about now?” — Stephen Miller

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