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Democrats Declare The Trump Assassination Attempt Was Just a Hollywood Audition Tape (PARODY)

Writer's picture: The ElephantThe Elephant

Washington D.C. - Hold onto your peanuts, folks, because the latest circus act in the political big top has arrived, and it's a doozy. According to a recent news post, a whopping 30% of Democrats believe the assassination attempt on former President Donald Trump was about as real as Bigfoot's social security number. Despite an avalanche of video footage and a crowd of witnesses, these skeptics are convinced it was all just a scene from the next Mission: Impossible flick. Cue the theme music and dramatic explosions!


But wait, it gets better. The same troupe of Democratic Houdinis, who think Trump’s brush with death was staged, have simultaneously declared that videos of President Joe Biden meandering around during speeches like a lost Roomba are nothing but a digital illusion. Yes, that's right. According to them, those clips of Biden looking for an invisible exit are just more fake news – probably whipped up by those dastardly Russian hackers or possibly the same team that brought us the moon landing hoax.


This cognitive gymnastics routine raises some burning questions: Are these folks also members of the Flat Earth Society? Do they believe the sky is merely an elaborate green screen? Are they secretly convinced that pigeons are government surveillance drones? The mind reels at the possibilities.


In one corner, we have a dramatic showdown involving Trump, shadowy figures, and a plot twist straight out of a spy thriller. Meanwhile, in the opposite corner, we see Biden’s supposed digital doppelgänger wandering off like he’s got an urgent meeting with the Easter Bunny. It's a wonder anyone can keep a straight face in the midst of this sideshow.


Consider the absurdity: Imagine a world where real-life events unfold with all the credibility of a late-night infomercial. Next up on Democratic Delusions: “But wait, there's more! Order now and we’ll throw in a free set of alternative facts!” Operators are standing by.


What’s truly mind-boggling is the mental acrobatics required to maintain such contradictory beliefs. It’s like watching someone juggle flaming torches while riding a unicycle on a tightrope strung between two skyscrapers. You can’t help but watch, mesmerized by the sheer audacity and inevitable train wreck.


Perhaps the Democrats are pioneers in a new field: Selective Reality Perception (SRP). With SRP, you can handpick the truths that suit your narrative and dismiss the rest as Hollywood productions. Who needs facts when you’ve got Spielberg’s camera crew on speed dial?


And so, dear readers, we find ourselves in a world where common sense takes a backseat to creative storytelling. Where the lines between fact and fiction blur into a kaleidoscope of bewildering beliefs. It’s a wonder they haven’t started claiming unicorns are running for office or that leprechauns are rigging voting machines.


As the curtain falls on this latest act of political theater, one can only marvel at the sheer lunacy on display. Perhaps it's all part of an elaborate plan to keep us entertained. If so, hats off to the Democrats for delivering a performance worthy of the ages. Just remember, folks: If you see Joe Biden chasing an imaginary squirrel on stage, it's probably just another computer generated masterpiece brought to you by the magic of selective reality.



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