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California Dreamin’ ~ Where Kids Rule, and Parents Drool! (MUSING)

Writer's picture: The ElephantThe Elephant

Straight out of the “You Can’t Make This Stuff Up” department, California has done it again. Under the visionary leadership of Governor Gavin “Totally in Touch” Newsom, the Golden State has become the first in the nation to ban school districts from informing parents about their child’s gender identification changes. Because, apparently, what mom and dad don’t know won’t hurt them—or their kids.


You read that right. A law signed on Monday, AB1955, ensures that school staff cannot disclose a student’s gender identity or sexual orientation without the child’s permission. Because, you know, kids are fully capable of handling life-altering decisions at 12. Forget parental guidance; in California, kids run the show!


Proponents of this groundbreaking legislation argue that it’s a protective measure for LGBTQ+ students in unwelcoming households. But let’s face it: opponents are clutching their pearls, saying it erodes transparency between schools and parents. As if parents need to know what’s going on with their own children.


Has our country gone nuts? Let’s dive deeper into the absurdity.


California’s Next Big Idea: Let Kids Decide EVERYTHING!


If children can choose their gender identity without parental interference, why stop there? Imagine the future laws inspired by this one:


1. The Happy Hour Law:

Kids over the age of 10 can now decide if they want to drink alcohol. After all, a margarita could really help them unwind after a tough day of middle school algebra. Think of it as an educational experiment in chemistry—just with more lime and salt.


2. The Chill and Relax Act:

Marijuana? Sure! Why not? California’s new legislation could soon extend to allowing children to partake in recreational marijuana. It’s all about promoting psychological well-being, right? If they can navigate gender identity, they can surely handle a little Mary Jane.


3 .The Late Night Club Bill:

Bedtimes are so passé. Kids can now determine their own bedtime curfew. Midnight? 2 AM? The school bus can wait. After all, who needs sleep when you have Fortnite and TikTok to keep you awake?


4. The Snack Liberation Law:

Nutrition is overrated. Let’s give kids the freedom to eat whatever they want. Chocolate for breakfast? Why not? Pizza for every meal? Of course. Parents, your grocery shopping just got a whole lot easier—just hit the candy aisle.


Governor Newsom’s Next Big Move:

Governor Newsom, always a step ahead, might just be considering the “Ultimate Freedom Bill.” This groundbreaking piece of legislation would let kids make all major life decisions. Forget about asking for permission to go to the mall or needing a ride to soccer practice. They’ll be voting in elections, making real estate purchases, and negotiating international trade deals by the time they hit high school.


Parenting in 2024: Hands Off, It’s California

Why bother being a parent when California has clearly got it all figured out? Forget about guidance, advice, and support. Just sit back, relax, and watch your kid navigate the complexities of life all on their own. After all, they can do no wrong when they’re making all the decisions, right?


In the spirit of this new law, maybe it’s time for parents to start asking their kids for permission to do anything. “Hey Jimmy, can I cook dinner tonight?” “Mom, I’ll let you know after my juice box and yoga session.”


Conclusion

California is pioneering a brave new world where kids call the shots. So here’s to Governor Gavin Newsom and his groundbreaking vision for the future. If you thought parenting was already a challenge, just wait. In California, it’s about to get a whole lot more…interesting. Cheers to the madness!

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