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BREAKING: Trump Signs Executive Order Declaring “Cheeseheads Like Tony Evers Need to Be Fired” After Absurd "Inseminated Person" Proposal

Writer: The ElephantThe Elephant


President Trump "Can’t wait for his next genius idea: renaming birthdays to Post Fertilization Acknowledgment Ceremonies"!



Washington, D.C.— After learning that Wisconsin Governor Tony Evers has proposed replacing the word “mother” with “inseminated person” in state law, former President Donald J. Trump wasted no time signing an emergency executive order titled: “The Cheese Brain Accountability Act.”


Standing at a podium emblazoned with the words “Make Women Mothers Again”, Trump lambasted Evers' move as “the dumbest thing to ever come out of Wisconsin


“You know, I always loved Wisconsin. Great people. Great cheese. But what is this? Tony Evers wants to replace ‘mother’ with ‘inseminated person’? It’s insane. It’s like saying the Green Bay Packers should replace their name with ‘Forward Progress Participants.’ It’s ridiculous! So today, I’m signing an order that does what any sensible American would do: it says morons like this should be fired. Gone. Removed. No more cheese for them!”


The Executive Order: What’s in It?


Trump’s emergency order—drafted in record time, likely because he only needed one functioning brain cell to know this was a bad idea—calls for:


✅ Immediate repudiation of Evers’ “Inseminated Person” nonsense—“because no one in history has ever whispered ‘Happy Inseminated Person’s Day’ to their mom.”


✅ A national mandate requiring all Wisconsin cheese to be rebranded as “Common Sense-Free Dairy” until the state regains its sanity.


✅ An official White House Statement confirming that ‘mother’ is, in fact, a woman who has given birth—not a science project.


✅ A new slogan: 'Keep the Cheese, Fire the Clowns'—aimed at removing bureaucrats who think basic biology is offensive.


Political Fallout


Governor Evers, upon hearing the news, reportedly began drafting a response but got distracted trying to figure out whether the phrase “Father’s Day” should be changed to “Person Who Assisted in the Insemination Process Day.”


Meanwhile, Kamala Harris was overheard asking, “What’s an inseminated person?” before launching into an unintelligible explanation about how “words matter” and “time is a concept we must discuss through the lens of democracy.”


Public Reaction


Americans reacted swiftly to Evers’ bizarre proposal:


One mother in Milwaukee tweeted: “I didn’t endure 23 hours of labor just to be called an ‘inseminated person.’ Try that on my birth certificate and see what happens.”


A Wisconsin dairy farmer was quoted as saying: “I deal with artificial insemination every day, but even my cows would think this is udder nonsense.”


CNN, predictably, defended Evers, stating that "Trump’s order is a dangerous attack on democracy and cheese-based economies."



Final Thought: The Real War on Women


For a party that claims to champion women, Democrats sure seem determined to erase them from existence—one absurd legal rebranding at a time. If a woman can’t even be called a ‘mother’ anymore, what’s next? Calling fathers ‘Genetic Seed Donors’ and babies ‘Post-Fertilization Entities’?


At this rate, by 2030, Democrats will just refer to everyone as ‘Human-Like Carbon-Based Lifeforms’ to avoid offending anyone.


One thing’s for sure: Trump just took one giant step toward keeping America sane—one fired cheesehead at a time.


DISCLAIMER:


This article is dedicated to all the sane people out there who still believe that words have meanings and that reality isn’t up for ideological debate.


Unfortunately, Governor Tony Evers and his ilk—those pompous, self-important bureaucrats with too much power and not enough common sense—think they can erase vocabulary, redefine biology, and force-feed society their perverted, confused thinking. And, of course, if you dare disagree with this bull🐂💩, you’re immediately labeled a racist, belligerent bigot in need of reeducation.


Here’s the truth: No amount of linguistic gymnastics can erase what every civilization since the dawn of time has recognized: Mothers are women, fathers are men, and calling them ‘Inseminated Persons’ and ‘Genetic Input Providers’ is the dumbest waste of legislative effort since California declared gas stoves a national security threat.


So if you’re tired of these elitist, ivory-tower ideologues spending your tax dollars on word erasure instead of real governance, then congratulations—you still have common sense. And in today’s world, that’s practically an act of rebellion.


Read on, laugh hard, and remember: Words mean things. Stupidity like this, however, means someone desperately needs to be voted out.



 
 
 

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