I can still remember the year of the Great Dog Election of 1985 at my humble community college in Florida. Picture this: a disillusioned student body tired of the same old, student council speeches full of promises like "more vending machines" and "better parking," only to be met with warm soda and enough parking spaces for half a Ford Pinto.
So, naturally, someone had the bright idea to run a dog for Student Government President. Now, I know what you're thinking—finally, a candidate who won’t just tell you what you want to hear… although, granted, he might just bark at you a lot, but at least you know it’s honest!
To everyone's surprise, the dog won by a landslide! Yes, a literal dog. And no, it wasn’t Lassie or Beethoven. It was a good ol' mutt named Buster whose campaign slogan, I kid you not, was "Who's a Good President? Woof!" I still don’t understand how a dog’s approval rating could skyrocket faster than anyone else’s, but hey, at least he had a clear policy: chase the mailman.
Now, why am I bringing up a canine candidate from my glory days of higher education? Well, folks, doesn't the Biden-Harris administration make you feel like we're in the middle of the second Great Dog Election of American history? I mean, just like Buster’s campaign, the Biden-Harris administration is running on vibes, a wagging tail, and a lot of barking without much of a bite.
Let’s start with our Commander-in-Chew himself—President Biden. At this point, it’s like watching your great-grandfather try to program the TV remote: you’re not sure he knows where he is, but by golly, he’s going to give it a try! He's been in office for nearly half a century, yet we're still wondering if the ol' fella remembers he's currently in office. With those classic lines like “You know, the thing,” it’s starting to sound a lot like when Buster would bark at his own reflection in the mirror. You have to wonder if anyone in the White House is telling Joe that sometimes, you just gotta let the mailman deliver the mail.
And then there's Vice President Kamala Harris, who’s approval ratings were lower than the calories in a celery stick, but now is trying to take the wheel for 2024. Do you remember when Kamala was put in charge of the border? She was about as successful as the captain of the Titanic— full speed ahead. And every time she gives a speech, it feels like Buster chasing his tail—endless, circular, and entertaining to watch but ultimately going nowhere. Now she’s running for president, and we’re all wondering if her strategy is just to laugh her way across the finish line.
The media has been treating the Biden-Harris administration like Buster’s run for Student Body President: not just unserious, but actively selling the illusion that everything’s going according to plan. Sure, Buster might look like a dog, walk like a dog, and bark like a dog—but the media’s out here telling us he’s really a political genius in disguise. “Don’t let the tail-wagging fool you,” they insist, “this is strategic tail-wagging!” Meanwhile, the rest of us are left staring, wondering when someone’s going to admit that the barking we hear is exactly what it sounds like: just barking.
Yet here we are, America. We're about to experience Buster 2.0—this time, with Kamala at the helm. She’s got that signature, strangely timed laugh. But don't worry, just like with Buster, we’ll keep pretending everything’s running smoothly while she circles the podium, wagging her ambitions and hoping for the political equivalent of belly rubs. The media’s already tossing her treats, convincing us that tail-chasing is somehow a sign of forward momentum.
In the end, I guess the Biden-Harris situation isn’t much different from that year we elected a dog. Both show what happens when the public loses faith in leadership and settles for the candidate who seems nice enough, even if they’re just chewing on the furniture. The difference is—unlike Buster, who was quickly sent packing by the school administrators—the Biden-Harris administration is still hanging around, with Kamala now trying to convince Americans that she is the right choice. After four years of chasing their own tails and barking up the wrong trees, they’re not going anywhere. But hey, if nothing else, they’ve kept the media busy explaining why it’s all part of the master plan.
And if nothing else, perhaps their slogan for 2024 can be inspired by Buster’s timeless wisdom: “Who’s a Good President? Woof!"
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